MASS EMAIL #4: Getting settled
Bulgarian greetings once again!
Since my last email I have moved (well, I was successfully moved, I can't claim to have done the moving). The day before I left Velingrad one of my soon-to-be co-workers drove to my house with her very large boyfriend to pick up my bags (and there were plenty!). My bags left me, destined for my apartment where I would only need to unpack them (it's good to be queen) and the next day I headed for my last Trainee Hub. In Pazardjik, we had one last, boring day of lectures and paperwork then headed to Sofia to be officially sworn in as volunteers. After being sworn in, the Regional Vice Governor picked up John and me and drove us several hours to our new home - Haskovo.
I've spent a lot of time (and money) trying to get my apartment set up so that I feel I have a home here. As most of you know, the feeling of warm, comfy coziness is my foundation and something very important to me, so it seems worth the investment. It keeps me from having the "true" Bulgarian experience (whatever that is), but a solid base also means I have more to offer. You should always put your own air mask on first. So, I got to start from scratch, and as I bought exciting luxuries like trash cans and toliet brushes and detergent and Italian coffee makers (heh!) the money quickly drifted away. I was lucky in that I was given an apartment with a lot of things supplied (TV, washer, some bedding), but still setting up the place has proven to be quite expensive, and certainly more than the 320 leva (about $200) the Peace Corps gave for a moving-in allowance. In addition to the financial struggles of moving and setting up a place, there has been, of course, the issue of language. You may find this surprising, but things like "dish drainer" and "shower rod" don't make it into bilingual dictionaries. Most frightening of all though is a helpful sales person who insists on explaining things: which is better, what it does, etc. As an American, and someone who has spent 10 years in NYC, I like to spend my cash in places where people ignore me, thank you.
My jobs here provide a few challenges. In the "obshtina" (the municipality over my town and about 35 villages) I am technically assigned to do project and proposal work in the department of international relations. What this has meant so far is that I email a lot (but not quickly, since the connection isn't the best) and try to do some research - until I get frustrated by the lack of speed or my inability to foresee what I will do with the information. People mainly speak English to me, excited by the opportunity to practice and frustrated by my need for them to speak s-l-o-w-l-y. Primarily though they just stick to speaking Bulgarian to each other and I understand a word or two every now and again. Gradually those words will get closer and closer together until I actually understand! I can't wait.
My other job, a non-governmental organization called Ikar gives me a bit more work - in many ways. It's located in an office about the size of my old Sociology office (for those who've seen it), has one computer and 2 people (plus me). The two women who work there, Veneta and Toni are kind and encouraging and enthusiastic. They are also very dramatic and often, er, excessively interested. After a 7-hour day of this, I want to become a monk. But I can't. Religious men have all the luck. Toni and Veneta do, however, give me work (proposals to write in English, surveys that they were going to somehow analyze by hand that need a speadsheet, etc). Unfortunately, there is but one computer and three of us, so when I get the computer they are 1) killing time by just hanging out 2) killing time WAITING for the computer or 3) hovering. Guess which 3 drives me nuts.
I've been in Haskovo about 3 weeks. It's certainly different than training - less forms, less paternalism - but it's still pretty difficult. In the beginning you don't understand enough of the structure and the politics, not to mention the language, to do much. So one's job is to gather and learn and see and be and do. And it's all very exhausting. You are learning and such because you don't know and when you don't know nearly everything (how to read a Bulgarian washing machine or how to ask for baking powder or where the bus goes) it can be pretty damn overwhelming. Never one for small talk and idle chit chat, I interact with people less than I should - prematurely annoyed that they might stick to small talk and frightened that they won't, leaving me clueless. It’s lose-lose, not to mention intellectually exhausting to only be able to understand the things you couldn’t care less about. I find myself trying to escape a lot – watching downloaded movies (copyright, schmopyright), instant messaging…and I’ve become addicted to the New York Times online – brain food I can understand.
In my pursuit of understanding, I have gotten a language tutor. Bianka. Peace Corps pays for up to 120 hours/year of tutoring, so I might as well take advantage of it. She teaches English to 3rd and 4th graders, so I am using some of her teaching materials (ok, really I am using a 2nd grade text) to help learn the language. With some luck and hard work, I'll be an average 4th grader. The volunteer who had my position before me (I am but a replacement for a Peace Corps volunteer slot here) used Bianka and found that she learned very little. Of course I just discovered this. Bianka is also the best friend of one of the people I work with so severing that tie will not be easy. I've been given another lead on a tutor, so I'll pursue that and somehow figure out the logistics with Bianka. One of the things about Bulgaria, and most anywhere, I guess, I is that people really like to connect you with their friends - everyone knows someone who can do what you are looking for. Here though, people don't understand that something, or someone, might just not be a fit for you, or even understand "no".
In more personal news, for those who don't know, my dad is in the hospital. He had a horseback riding accident over a month ago where the horse rolled on top of him, leaving them both unconscious. The accident, as you might imagine, led to many complications and problems. Dad is now paraplegic, has had several emergency surgeries and once he becomes stable enough will have back surgery and then begin physical therapy. It's been difficult to be away from the family and States in general through it all, but I'm doing nearly as much here as I could there.
In Bulgaria there is a sight we have all grown accustomed to seeing. In the foreground there are signs of daily life: veggie markets, buses, houses and apartment blocks, street signs. The super background is often this majestic and seemingly unreachable landscape. The middle ground though is blocked by a half-completed municipal concrete structure or sulfur clouds or trees or those aforementioned signs of daily life. Before I arrived here, I thought that people (namely, myself) endured the unknown middle ground in pursuit of the landscape – the pursuit of the view from the top. It’s the American in me, I guess. Fighting and screaming, I’m beginning to think that we – that I – missed the point: that the experience of the middle ground is its own reward and that the view from the top, when reached without short-sightedness, only points out the other middle grounds to be explored.
Hope you are enjoying your own unknown middle ground.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Jen
As with any move, my contact information has changed. Feel free to send gifts and letters and dry-iced bacon. Mmmmm…. Also, I have set up instant messaging accounts with both Yahoo! (jen_bulgaria) and AOL (sapientarcadia). On there most evenings, even if only briefly.
Since my last email I have moved (well, I was successfully moved, I can't claim to have done the moving). The day before I left Velingrad one of my soon-to-be co-workers drove to my house with her very large boyfriend to pick up my bags (and there were plenty!). My bags left me, destined for my apartment where I would only need to unpack them (it's good to be queen) and the next day I headed for my last Trainee Hub. In Pazardjik, we had one last, boring day of lectures and paperwork then headed to Sofia to be officially sworn in as volunteers. After being sworn in, the Regional Vice Governor picked up John and me and drove us several hours to our new home - Haskovo.
I've spent a lot of time (and money) trying to get my apartment set up so that I feel I have a home here. As most of you know, the feeling of warm, comfy coziness is my foundation and something very important to me, so it seems worth the investment. It keeps me from having the "true" Bulgarian experience (whatever that is), but a solid base also means I have more to offer. You should always put your own air mask on first. So, I got to start from scratch, and as I bought exciting luxuries like trash cans and toliet brushes and detergent and Italian coffee makers (heh!) the money quickly drifted away. I was lucky in that I was given an apartment with a lot of things supplied (TV, washer, some bedding), but still setting up the place has proven to be quite expensive, and certainly more than the 320 leva (about $200) the Peace Corps gave for a moving-in allowance. In addition to the financial struggles of moving and setting up a place, there has been, of course, the issue of language. You may find this surprising, but things like "dish drainer" and "shower rod" don't make it into bilingual dictionaries. Most frightening of all though is a helpful sales person who insists on explaining things: which is better, what it does, etc. As an American, and someone who has spent 10 years in NYC, I like to spend my cash in places where people ignore me, thank you.
My jobs here provide a few challenges. In the "obshtina" (the municipality over my town and about 35 villages) I am technically assigned to do project and proposal work in the department of international relations. What this has meant so far is that I email a lot (but not quickly, since the connection isn't the best) and try to do some research - until I get frustrated by the lack of speed or my inability to foresee what I will do with the information. People mainly speak English to me, excited by the opportunity to practice and frustrated by my need for them to speak s-l-o-w-l-y. Primarily though they just stick to speaking Bulgarian to each other and I understand a word or two every now and again. Gradually those words will get closer and closer together until I actually understand! I can't wait.
My other job, a non-governmental organization called Ikar gives me a bit more work - in many ways. It's located in an office about the size of my old Sociology office (for those who've seen it), has one computer and 2 people (plus me). The two women who work there, Veneta and Toni are kind and encouraging and enthusiastic. They are also very dramatic and often, er, excessively interested. After a 7-hour day of this, I want to become a monk. But I can't. Religious men have all the luck. Toni and Veneta do, however, give me work (proposals to write in English, surveys that they were going to somehow analyze by hand that need a speadsheet, etc). Unfortunately, there is but one computer and three of us, so when I get the computer they are 1) killing time by just hanging out 2) killing time WAITING for the computer or 3) hovering. Guess which 3 drives me nuts.
I've been in Haskovo about 3 weeks. It's certainly different than training - less forms, less paternalism - but it's still pretty difficult. In the beginning you don't understand enough of the structure and the politics, not to mention the language, to do much. So one's job is to gather and learn and see and be and do. And it's all very exhausting. You are learning and such because you don't know and when you don't know nearly everything (how to read a Bulgarian washing machine or how to ask for baking powder or where the bus goes) it can be pretty damn overwhelming. Never one for small talk and idle chit chat, I interact with people less than I should - prematurely annoyed that they might stick to small talk and frightened that they won't, leaving me clueless. It’s lose-lose, not to mention intellectually exhausting to only be able to understand the things you couldn’t care less about. I find myself trying to escape a lot – watching downloaded movies (copyright, schmopyright), instant messaging…and I’ve become addicted to the New York Times online – brain food I can understand.
In my pursuit of understanding, I have gotten a language tutor. Bianka. Peace Corps pays for up to 120 hours/year of tutoring, so I might as well take advantage of it. She teaches English to 3rd and 4th graders, so I am using some of her teaching materials (ok, really I am using a 2nd grade text) to help learn the language. With some luck and hard work, I'll be an average 4th grader. The volunteer who had my position before me (I am but a replacement for a Peace Corps volunteer slot here) used Bianka and found that she learned very little. Of course I just discovered this. Bianka is also the best friend of one of the people I work with so severing that tie will not be easy. I've been given another lead on a tutor, so I'll pursue that and somehow figure out the logistics with Bianka. One of the things about Bulgaria, and most anywhere, I guess, I is that people really like to connect you with their friends - everyone knows someone who can do what you are looking for. Here though, people don't understand that something, or someone, might just not be a fit for you, or even understand "no".
In more personal news, for those who don't know, my dad is in the hospital. He had a horseback riding accident over a month ago where the horse rolled on top of him, leaving them both unconscious. The accident, as you might imagine, led to many complications and problems. Dad is now paraplegic, has had several emergency surgeries and once he becomes stable enough will have back surgery and then begin physical therapy. It's been difficult to be away from the family and States in general through it all, but I'm doing nearly as much here as I could there.
In Bulgaria there is a sight we have all grown accustomed to seeing. In the foreground there are signs of daily life: veggie markets, buses, houses and apartment blocks, street signs. The super background is often this majestic and seemingly unreachable landscape. The middle ground though is blocked by a half-completed municipal concrete structure or sulfur clouds or trees or those aforementioned signs of daily life. Before I arrived here, I thought that people (namely, myself) endured the unknown middle ground in pursuit of the landscape – the pursuit of the view from the top. It’s the American in me, I guess. Fighting and screaming, I’m beginning to think that we – that I – missed the point: that the experience of the middle ground is its own reward and that the view from the top, when reached without short-sightedness, only points out the other middle grounds to be explored.
Hope you are enjoying your own unknown middle ground.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Jen
As with any move, my contact information has changed. Feel free to send gifts and letters and dry-iced bacon. Mmmmm…. Also, I have set up instant messaging accounts with both Yahoo! (jen_bulgaria) and AOL (sapientarcadia). On there most evenings, even if only briefly.
posted by Jen at 11:00 PM
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